


sun and satellites

by fyhoshi



Series: sun & moon [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Astronomy, Fluff, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi is Whipped, Lee Jihoon | Woozi is Whipped, M/M, Roommates, Soonhoon - Freeform, a little bit of minwon but not really, just soonyoung being a nerd, lets start soft ok, little to no angst, they just really like each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-16 02:43:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 18,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21500533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fyhoshi/pseuds/fyhoshi
Summary: To most people, the sun is up there in the galaxy; big and bright, yellow and burning, more than a thousand degrees hot. To Jihoon, the sun is down here, smiling and laughing as if he doesn't know that his smile is the closest thing Jihoon could get to experiencing what heaven is like.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi & Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Series: sun & moon [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1561405
Comments: 2
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is something that I have written for valentines day a few years ago so it’s kind of old and “meh” but hey it’s pretty decent. decided to take it here because (1) it’s better to post than let it die in my notes (2) peer pressure (3) i got nothing better to do.
> 
> definitely needed the internet for a few nerdy pickup lines here and there cause i’m no genius. anyways, i hope you enjoy all 17 chapters!

The time of preparation for finals is a stretch of three weeks and Jihoon is barely holding on. He had just finished his second cup of coffee in the middle of the night, with textbooks piled up on his desk and a physics worksheet on his face. 

His phone rings from under the covers of his bed and he groans, standing up to reach for the gadget, only to see a message on his lockscreen: _‘sweetie, are you coming home for the new year?'_ Jihoon averts his eyes to the awful pile of books and wishes he could finally come home. The year is ending in a week and he already missed celebrating christmas with his family (not like he actually enjoys the noise though) but thinking about it, his days are already planned out until finals. And the stress—it’s been with him for a while now, long enough to keep him company that the tension can be felt right away upon entering the room. 

_'i'm sorry, mom. I'll pass, I’ll just make it up to you next time’_ is all he could reply with as he plays with the small ring on his finger. Then he sits back down to veer the focus on his paper. A set of numbers, strain and Hooke's law are all that should matter at this time. At least that's what his mind tells him.

Coming from the door is the last person he would like to be his roommate. Jihoon cranes his neck to the direction, watching the _new kid_ struggle with his luggage. _What's he even doing with a huge luggage? Does he live that far?_ The unfamiliar boy pushes his hair back and scans the room until he sees Jihoon watching him move in. A genuine smile spreads across the his face before Jihoon could turn away to face his desk. To his surprise, this new roommate has a pair of cute eyes that form crescents when he smiles.

"Hello I’m Kwon Soonyoung!" he loudly greets and bows respectfully. _Oh boy,_ Jihoon mutters to himself. If this is the boy he's going to be celebrating the coming year with, then he's definitely going to suffer. Jihoon, being that person who never really gets along with strangers nor becomes a friend easily, doesn’t know what to reply. He’s too deranged with his lessons to be able to form a decent sentence about himself. "Lee Jihoon," he simply says. Bland introduction.

Something tells him. _Have they met before?_ Or is he just so tired with all the schoolwork that his mind is playing with him at this point.

“Nice ring," says Soonyoung as he walks towards the petite boy. Jihoon's eyes make their way to his finger, then back to Soonyoung who seems to stare at his hand in awe. The ring on Jihoon's last finger looks brighter than all of saturn's rings combined, beautifully crafted in silver like icy remnants of the moon.

"Thanks. It was given to me when I was born."

"Looks oddly familiar to me," Soonyoung mumbles.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing! Anyway, I brought donuts for you," Soonyoung casually drops the white box next to Jihoon's books, his mouth pulling up in a cheerful smile. Then they stare at each other for a good five seconds. _Soonyoung is indeed a charming boy,_ Jihoon thinks to himself. He has jet black hair, full cheeks and perfectly plump lips. He has the kind of face that can make people stop to give a second look. Jihoon had never seen anyone with eyes like Soonyoung’s. They’re slanted in a way that reminds him of the clock at 10:10 in the morning (breaktime, his favorite hour) 

Jihoon breaks contact and whirls on the chair to continue with his work. “I’m not hungry, you can have the donuts. Thank you,” he says.

Soonyoung shows him a disappointed look. "But they go well with coffee. Clearly, you're a coffee lover," he replies, staring at the opened coffee packets next to Jihoon's empty cup. “I think donuts really go well with coffee. All the other cafes say so as well!”

Jihoon massages his throbbing temples then lets go of his pen to face the boy. "If you haven’t noticed, I’m studying for finals. So Soonyoung, please tone the fuck down.”

"Okay, not a good start," the taller mumbles and continues to fix his things, awkwardly. Jihoon seems like someone who is difficult to please, when in reality, he just doesn’t know how to act around “new people”. He had been alone in this room for more than a month, with his things already piling up at the upper bunk bed because nobody sleeps there. But because he has someone to live with now, he has to occupy the messier bed. _Sucks._

Although Jihoon made it clear that he wants to be left in peace, Soonyoung doesn’t stop introducing himself, saying things like where he's from and what he likes. He also mentions that he has night shift classes. _Night shift classes?_ Jihoon furrows his brows. That probably means that this chatterbox will be studying with him at this hour for the next few days, in this small room with only one desk. 

One long desk, at least. 

Soonyoung grabs a chair and takes a seat while Jihoon attempts to throw a crumpled paper at the trash bin nearby. “So, do we share desks?" Soonyoung questions, leaning forward to the table and resting his chin on his right hand.

The paper misses the bin and Jihoon lets out a sigh. "Yeah."

"My schedule is 5pm to 9pm, so i'll be sleeping hard in the morning," Soonyoung tells him with a slight chuckle. _Okay,_ not like Jihoon cares, but he still nods, stealing a quick glance at his new roommate.

"Hey, Soonyoung." 

The boy purses his lips and turns to the shorter one. "Yes?"

"I haven't seen you before. Are you new?"

"Ah, no, I’ve been in the university for as long as you have," Soonyoung replies, "I just switched dorms because my previous roommate was being a fucking pain in the ass, I couldn't even study in peace." Jihoon wants to roll his eyes at the fact that Soonyoung moved dorms because of a noisy roommate, when he’s over here being a _“fucking pain in the ass”_ himself by being a little too talkative.

Jihoon’s phone rings again and this time, he doesn’t receive a text from his mom, but from Mingyu, who wants to come over.

"Ooh a boyfriend?" Soonyoung asks upon seeing the message pop up on the lockscreen while he’s arranging his books on the table space. Jihoon furrows his eyebrows. “Stop snooping, we’re not close, Soonyoung,” he says with a scowl on his face. 

Mingyu, along with Seungcheol, has been his friend for almost ten years. That guy loves to come over just to lay on the bed for a few minutes and do absolutely nothing. Jihoon texts back an _‘ok, but i have a new roommate'_ then continues with his paper. 

“So, what’s for tonight’s review?”

Jihoon lets go of his pen for the second time and runs his palms over his face. Only half an hour in and he already misses being alone without a roommate to annoy him. He feels as if staying for a whole year with Soonyoung would be like babysitting a child who never shuts up.

“Hey, I’m trying to study okay? I don’t want to talk right now.”

"Sorry, I was just intrigued because you’re studying Hooke’s law," Soonyoung says, blowing out a breath as he leans back in his chair. "F = kX with constant k."

Jihoon falls silent for a few seconds. Even though Soonyoung is being annoying, something tells Jihoon that he could gain something from the boy. Well, if he asks.

“Are you familiar with Hooke’s law then?" Jihoon questions, “I've been having a hard time dealing with this worksheet." Soonyoung scoots closer and rests his left arm on Jihoon’s chair, tilting his head to read the worksheet. He then takes the pen and starts scribbling some equations down. The smaller feels uncomfortable with Soonyoung being a little close, his arm slung behind the chair's support. He is suddenly conflicted on whether he should focus on the messy handwriting or on the boy's face. 

Jihoon steals quick glances and captures Soonyoung's sharp eyes staring on the paper as he scribbles down numbers. Jihoon purses his lips and silently watches in awe before forcing his gaze back to the desk. Around two minutes pass by and the older lets go of the material.

**W = Pe = (1/2) k (Δx)^2 = 0.5 × 150 × (- 0.05)^2 = 0.1875 J.**

Without a thought, Jihoon mumbles, "You fucker, how did you do that so quickly?" A grin spreads across Soonyoung’s face. “Do you need a tutorial? You know I could teach you and I would be willing to, but I guess I do have to tone the fuck down, don't I?"

"I take that back! I will do something for you in return."

Soonyoung shakes his head, cracking a half suppressed laughter. Jihoon really takes everything seriously. "I’m kidding. You don't have to do anything. I’ll gladly help, Jihoon."

Jihoon’s face flushes to the sound of his name. And before he could say another word, there comes a patterned knock on the door. He’s about to make a run for it but Soonyoung is fast to stand up and get it himself. The door opens, revealing a dark haired boy in a sleeveless shirt. "Oh! You must be the new roommate," Mingyu peers at the shorter. Soonyoung casually introduces himself and clasps his hand with Mingyu while Jihoon snickers at the sight. “Kim Mingyu, it's fucking winter, where are your sleeves?" 

"I'm hot, does that make sense—"

"Get the fuck out."

"Woah little man, find your chill." Mingyu walks around and slips his backpack off his shoulder before taking a seat on the lower bed, which belongs to Soonyoung now. Then he makes himself comfortable, his head on the headboard and one leg resting on the bed. Jihoon could only sigh. "That’s not my bed anymore, Gyu."

The boy couldn't care less about what he was told. "Soonyoung wouldn't mind, would he?"

"I don't mind," Soonyoung replies, then Jihoon criticizes him for tolerating an asshole who happens to be Mingyu. The older one laughs and goes back to studying while Mingyu stays for a good two hours to do nothing but relax and make himself comfortable. Soonyoung seems to like his company, because unlike Jihoon, Mingyu lets him talk as much as he wants. They discuss a few topics for a while, until Mingyu finally waves off. _He’s so useless,_ Jihoon thinks to himself.

The moment Mingyu leaves, the room is enveloped in quietude. It is a perfectly good time for Jihoon to trace the starry night with his eyes as he rests his chin on his arms. Other than the stars looking so familiar tonight, he doesn’t know what else to think of. Soonyoung notices his roommate in deep thought and admires the sight to himself, contemplating on whether he should call the boy's name or not. Suddenly, Jihoon shoots a gaze. Their eyes meet. Soonyoung squeals a little inside.

"What are you looking at?" 

“I’m just wondering if..." Soonyoung looks down and plays with his fingers “...you could make coffee for me too." Jihoon chuckles softly upon hearing the reply. He wants to say no, but because Soonyoung is probably going to be his tutor and roommate for one more year, he stands up and ruffles the boy's hair before heading to do what he suggested. 

_Why the fuck did i ruffle his hair?_ Jihoon presses his palm on his forehead.

A few minutes later, Soonyoung claps a little when Jihoon places the cup on the desk, "Thank you, Jihoon." 

“K.”

A buttoned up atmosphere covers the room as they continue to study. Soonyoung finishes the cup of coffee faster than he expected. It tastes really good and has the right amount of sugar — exactly how he likes it. 

Silence. The only thing that could be heard is the sound of Jihoon’s pencil tapping on the desk, and the gears grinding inside his head. Physics is too much for him to handle. Equations and numbers are tossed in different directions inside his head, and his thoughts are incoherent. On the other hand, Soonyoung is in a state of relaxation as he enthusiastically scans the book on his face. That is, until he opens his mouth to yawn and rubs his bleary eyes. "Jihoon, let's sleep, it's late." 

"You should go, if you're already sleepy."

"What about you? Look at your eyes," the boy moves close to examine Jihoon's face. “Come on now, let's both rest. I can’t sleep with that blinding night light on." Jihoon slightly flinches at the skin contact when Soonyoung grabs his wrist. He never really liked the idea of skinship, especially with someone he just met. The boy stops all the blood that could color his frozen cheeks red, then he moves Soonyoung's hand away.

"Whatever, I changed my mind, I’ll go to sleep now," Jihoon stands up and hurries to climb the ladder to his messy bed while Soonyoung downs a glass of water and drags himself to sleep. The lights are turned off and Jihoon covers himself with the blanket, trying to clear his thoughts.

"Jihoon." He hears his name

"Yeah?"

"You make good coffee. Goodnight." 

Jihoon smiles. He pulls his blanket up a little more, burying his face on the pillow then falls into a deep slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

A faint glow of peach color passes through blinds, making Jihoon open his eyes and rub last night’s dream away. He turns to his right and taps on his phone to check the time. It’s only half past six; school starts at eight. _Five minutes more_ , he says to himself as he burrows himself back into the soft sheets. Seventeen minutes later, he goes down the ladder, half asleep, then catches a glimpse of Soonyoung sleeping with his mouth open. _Cute._ Jihoon chuckles and walks to the window to take in shafts of warm light that pass through the gaps in the blinds. He makes his way to the bathroom to wash his face then tears through a bag of cereal, filling the bowl and then pouring milk all over. After a few seconds, he plops down in the chair to his desk, facing his notes as he dives a spoonful into his mouth.

After finishing his cereal, he rushes to brush his teeth then he steps into the bathroom, flinching as his feet touch the cold ceramic floor. He takes a neatly folded towel on the shelf crammed just above the sink then places it over the rack. The shower area with Jihoon’s shampoo, conditioner and body wash bottles arranged into a small basket pushed against the wall is now crowded with unfamiliar containers of varied colors. Coming from one of Soonyoung’s shampoo bottles is a fresh fruity scent mixed with a subtle hint of flowers in the very best way. Jihoon seems to like it. He places it back into the basket and starts to shower, forgetting to turn on the heater. 

Ice cold water pours from the shower head, freezing as it comes in contact with his skin and steals all the warmth from his body. “Fuck!” he screams and turns the lever so water stops flowing. He pushes his hair back in frustration and flinches upon hearing a knock on the door.

“Jihoon? Are you okay?” 

“Oh god why is he awake?” Jihoon whispers to himself then clears his throat to shout. “I’m okay, it’s nothing!”

“Do you need help?” asks Soonyoung, the concern clear in his tone.

“No!” Jihoon panics, “Go away Soonyoung, i’m fine!”

The younger waits for a few seconds in silence, even peeking through the shower curtain to see if he had locked the door. _Why I am I being paranoid?_ he asks himself. It’s not like Soonyoung would just bust inside the door, he wouldn’t want a lawsuit, would he?That chatterbox is a smartass, he knows what privacy means. Water from the shower comes running again, with the perfect pressure and temperature this time. Jihoon takes a few minutes to clean himself before he steps outside in his baggy clothes to dry his hair with a towel. He sees Soonyoung laying on the bed and just scrolling on his phone. “Good morning, Jihoon,” the boy greets. “Morning.” Jihoon says back. There’s nothing else to say.

Soonyoung slips the gadget under his pillow to drift back to sleep by the time Jihoon walks to his dresser to choose an outfit. He almost takes off his shirt, but turns and remembers that he has a roommate. Sure, Soonyoung has his eyes closed but it’s still awkward for Jihoon to change at a spot where he could be seen. Because of this, he hurries to the tiny bathroom and squeezes himself into black pants and a huge baby blue sweater. Soon after, he starts running around the room looking for the things he needs for the school day. And no matter how heavy his footsteps are, Soonyoung doesn’t open an eye. 

When it's about time to go, Jihoon carries his backpack and examines himself in the mirror. He applies chapstick onto his lips then brushes the hair partly covering his forehead. He looks alright, just like the usual. The blonde hair makes the winter blush appear more rosy against his fair skin

Then he sighs. "You're so fucking ugly, Lee Jihoon."

The boy hastens outside then back again to grab a jacket by the door when he realized it has gotten colder outside. _Fuck, I’m late,_ he repeats to himself as he slips into the down feathered jacket with shaking hands. 

Halfway through his way to school, he realizes: _the jacket is Soonyoung's._

Jihoon curses under his breath, shakes his head and reaches the classroom exactly a minute before the bell rings. He can’t believe that he survived the snow, although his hands are already frozen and his face looks like it was beaten with a chalkboard eraser. "Look at you, you're so dead." Mingyu laughs upon seeing his little friend. 

"I _am_ dead, thanks for pointing out the obvious." Jihoon takes his seat and drops a book on the desk.

"And uh, nice big coat you got there by the way."

"It’s not mine.” He rolls his eyes "It belongs to Soonyoung." Mingyu throws his head back and laughs again. “You just met and now you're wearing his clothes?" 

A pencil flies to the tall boy's direction, hitting him right on his forehead. "Is there even a day where you don't ruin my fucking morning? you piece of shit."

"Find your chill, dude," Mingyu picks up the pencil and attempts to throw it back at Jihoon. But when he gets a glare, he decides to just place it on the boy's desk. The professor then enters the room and they both groan.


	3. Chapter 3

“Fucking finally,” Jihoon says to himself by the time the clock strucks 1pm. At last, he could go back to the dorm, start studying again for the finals and give his eye circles a darker shade. _Boring routine, yes_. But he really doesn’t have a choice. Later that day, Seungcheol accompanies him to the dormitory, worrying that his friend might die in the snow considering that he's highly sensitive to the cold. _Talk about poor health and sleep deprivation._ By the time they arrive to the room, Seungcheol jogs in place. "Can I use your bathroom real quick?" 

Jihoon nods and hurriedly looks for the keys in his pocket. He, too, has been dying to get in because he couldn't handle the low temperature anymore. _Shit_ , he mutters to himself. He usually keeps them in his jacket's pocket but then he remembers that he's wearing Soonyoung's clothing. Jihoon repeatedly slams the door with his hands. "Soonyoung? Soonyoung are you there?"

Inside the room, Soonyoung is under the covers and in deep slumber, too far away from absolute reality as to why he couldn't hear the rapid knocking of the two boys outside. "Soonyoung we’re fucking dying!" Jihoon's voice cracks and he throws his knuckles on the wooden material.

Soonyoung’s eyes crack open when Jihoon slams the door for the tenth time. He rolls off the bed in an unbridled speed to let them in. Seungcheol, without wasting a second, rushes to the bathroom and slams the door shut while Jihoon falls weakly to the floor, unable to get up. "Hey, hey, are you alright!?" Soonyoung panics and tries to pick the boy up from the ground.

"Cold intolerance, poor health, body aches. He'll be alright just give him something warm and keep a close eye on him!" Seungcheol shouts from the comfort room. Soonyoung nods and carries Jihoon to place him on the bed, feeling his temperature. _This boy is frozen to absolute zero_ , Soonyoung thinks to himself as he wraps Jihoon with a fleece blanket. "Hold on, I’m gonna get you hot packs," He rushes to his bag and comes back, slightly pressing the insulative fabrics on the younger's cheeks.

Without skipping a beat, Jihoon places his hands on Soonyoung's, closing his eyes to bask in the warmth. Soonyoung’s face flushes at his action. Stepping out of the bathroom, Seungcheol's eyes widen at the sight of the two boys then slowly tiptoes his way outside the room to not interrupt. He quickly runs off the moment Soonyoung sees him. “Bummer,” Soonyoung tells Jihoon. “I was just gonna ask for his name and thank him for bringing you here.”

"That's Choi Seungcheol," Jihoon mutters "My friend."

"Ah.” Soonyoung nods, then asks, "Do you still want me to hold the packs for you?" Jihoon opens his eyes and digests the question thrown at him. "It's a need, not a want," he replies, trailing off, "Your hands are warm too so..."

Soonyoung sits in a pretzel formation in front of the boy then rests his forearms on his roommate's shoulders. Jihoon doesn't mind at all. However, Soonyoung is still sleepy so he keeps his head low until Jihoon notices that he’s almost dozing off. "Soon," he calls "You can sleep, I'll go study now." The younger attempts to take Soonyoung's hands off his face but the boy refuses. "No no no, your friend told me to keep an eye on you."

"I'm okay now, what you did is already enough to keep me warm." Jihoon holds Soonyoung's hands firmly then moves them away from his cheeks. 

The older whines. "But—"

"Hey, i'm okay," Jihoon stands up and groans in pain "Fuck it, i'm not okay." He throws himself back on the bed again and curls up like a ball while the other buries him in blankets. "You’re not okay yet, silly. Stay there, I'll go make some hot chocolate for you," Soonyoung tells him 

"Coffee please."

"No, it might make you feel worse and just so you know, I’m not going to be responsible for your hospital bills," Soonyoung replies "I'm in charge now."

Jihoon’s ears perk up and he gives Soonyoung a disapproving expression. "But i've been here long enough so I should be in charge!" 

"But I'm older than you so shut up or I'll—"

"Or you'll what?" 

Silence. Soonyoung stops for a few seconds then snickers. "Nevermind."


	4. Chapter 4

Three hours later, Soonyoung has to go get ready for school. He walks around the room like how Jihoon did in the morning, looking for his stuff. The other just sits on the bed, watching him. "You know you should get some sleep while I'm out, right?" Soonyoung asks, fixing his black top

"I have physics homework."

"Go get sleep and I'll help you with that later when i get back." 

Jihoon raises an eyebrow and his mouth pulls up in a smile that he tries to hide. Soonyoung doesn’t notice anyway, all because he’s too busy in front of the mirror with a makeup palette — about that, Jihoon doesn’t bother asking. Surely, every person has their own way of boosting their confidence.

He could clearly hear Soonyoung cussing every time he fucks up with his face. And to him, it’s funny. Obviously, the guy isn't the best with whatever he's doing. But then ten minutes later, Jihoon's jaw drops at Soonyoung's appearance; his sharp eyes lined black together with the slightest hint of faded red-orange powder smothered around. His eye makeup, along with his jet black hair, is enough to give him an intimidating, almost alluring aura. To make it simpler, Jihoon thinks Soonyoung looks scarily sexy.

 _Why does he look like a fucking god?_ Jihoon asks himself. In his eyes, Soonyoung has literally been a boy with full cheeks, cute smile and a soft aura. Guess he has to rethink about that now. 

"Do I look good?" Soonyoung asks with a hint of hesitation. Jihoon almost chokes on his saliva. "You look... _hot_ "

“Hot?” Soonyoung says with a chuckle. That’s one word he wasn’t expecting Jihoon to use. “You look great, I mean. Do you usually go to school like that?” Jihoon quickly adds in an attempt to avoid further embarrassment. "No no, I have a performance today at the auditorium. Do you really think i’ll go to school in a tux?" Soonyoung enthusiastically answers, fixing his backpack "At the upcoming new year's event, you should come and watch me perform. I'll get tickets for you and your friends. Sounds good?”

"Um.." Jihoon mutters "Sure. I didn't know that you dance."

"That’s because you never asked, silly. What did you think? I'm some lame ass nerd? Nah." Soonyoung carries his bag on his shoulder and tells his roommate to get some sleep. If not, then he won't be getting a tutorial later. “Ooh what a threat,” Jihoon jokingly says. Soonyoung simply glares as a reply and the younger blushes madly, avoiding his stare.

He clears his throat just about the time Soonyoung reaches the door to look for his winter coat.

"I'm wearing your coat, I was in a rush earlier and I thought it was mine."

"Mhm," Soonyoung nods. That jacket is his favorite, and it’s definitely the one he plans to wear to school for the day. But because it keeps his roommate warm, he decides to shrug it off. "I'll just grab a different one. See you later, Ji! Thanks for calling me hot!" Soonyoung says and closes the door.

Jihoon buries his face on a pillow to scream.


	5. Chapter 5

Soonyoung walks to the university and meets up with three of his friends, Minghao, Junhui and Chan. Upon arriving, the brown haired student, Junhui, greets with a wide sarcastic smile. "Great! you're almost late, asshole." Soonyoung snickers at the greeting as they proceed to the auditorium. 

The university auditorium is about as spacious as two gymnasiums. Students and a few visitors fill the seats surrounding the stage, making Soonyoung feel like a needle in a haystack. It’s not like it’s his first performance with his friends. He’s been singing and dancing in the same venue for countless of times and the stage is where he belongs, but he never seems to get used to the “pre-performance feeling”, like knots and butterflies in his stomach.

“Hey, breathe in and out.” Minghao tells him. “We got this, okay?” 

Their performance starts in an hour and Soonyoung's heart is racing at comet speed. Soon enough, the stage director signals them to get ready. They’re the next to own the stage.

He could hear his heart thud as the lights dim and they all make their way to the center. The moment they get into position, lights fill the stage, with varied colors softly bouncing against the shiny floor. The song starts and Soonyoung feels the adrenaline rushing through his veins. He lifts his head to face the audience, making contact to a hundred pair of eyes, then all four of them start to move to the music. Soonyoung quickly gets the hang of it, perfectly dancing to every beat and hitting each note perfectly whenever it’s his turn to sing. This has always been his passion: performing. The perfectly calculated choreography attempts to take over but all eyes focus on Soonyoung and his movements filled with poetry. Everyone seems to be in awe as they watch the group move to the music, their singing voices filling the auditorium.

Just when the song ends, they receive a massive round of applause from the audience. The four boys take a bow, then it was time to walk off. Soonyoung grabs a bottle of water and hurriedly downs its content to satisfy his quench; he's gone a little too out of breath, but he knows that he did his best back there. The way back to the dressing room is a huge hassle with a sea of a crowd, and he doesn’t want to squeeze himself through so he decides to go home wearing his tux. He'll have a jacket to cover it anyway.

While he’s taking off his microphone, Chan runs to him, holding a bouquet of different colored tulips. "Someone wanted to give this to you!"

“Flowers? What a surprise!” Soonyoung says with gasp. He accepts the flowers and carries it in his arms, trying to look if there’s a tag to see who gave it. “Do you know who gave it to you?” he asks Chan, who simply shrugs. “I don’t know, there was no introduction and all, I was just asked to give them to you. Eh, must’ve been in a hurry.”

Soonyoung nods. The two of them talk about the performance for a little more until he finally decides to go back to the dormitory, where he finds Jihoon asleep on his bed. He steps in as quietly as possible, placing his bag beside the shoe rack and the flowers on the desk. "Jihoon, I’m home,” he whispers.

To his surprise, Jihoon suddenly wakes up, and the first thing Soonyoung notices is the small smile across his face. “Ooh what’s that smile on your face? Did you have a good dream?"

The thing is, Jihoon didn't have a good dream, but he had a good time watching Soonyoung perform.

“A really good one,” says Jihoon as he watches Soonyoung change into his baggy clothes and wash the makeup off his face. Soon enough, the boy is back to the Soonyoung that Jihoon knew—the boy with a soft aura. Jihoon sighs, _why is he such a far cry from that Soonyoung he saw earlier?_ This makes him have trust issues.

“Wow, flowers,” Jihoon points out as soon as he catches sight of the pretty bouquet on the desk. “Yes, flowers,” Soonyoung replies, “Someone was sweet enough to give them to me after the performance. I didn’t get the chance to know who gave it though.”

“You know, different colored tulips are the perfect flowers to give to someone you want to date or get to know more,” Jihoon says, “They have lots of meanings based on their colors and honestly, I think they’re way better than roses. Roses are overrated!”

“Look who we have here, it’s Mr. Flower boy,” Soonyoung replies teasingly, “You seem to like tulips a lot. How did you know so much about them?”

That moment, Jihoon realizes how stupid it was to just randomly tell Soonyoung what he researched about flowers. “Oh, my mom, you know,” he nervously says, “She’s really into flowers so I know about them too.” Luckily, Soonyoung believes him. “These tulips are very pretty though, and I’m glad you like them too, surprisingly, since you don’t seem like the type to love these things. Will you help me arrange them into a vase?” 

“Sure, but I don’t think there’s a vase around here.”

“Hm, that’s too bad, and I don’t have time to go out to buy now either,” Soonyoung pouts, “Maybe tomorrow then. For the meantime, let’s go deal with your homework.”

Jihoon takes his bag then drops all the books on the desk. A few minutes later, they're finally burning the midnight oil in a sea of equations. "Another example, consider a helical spring that has one end attached to some fixed object, while the free end is being pulled by a force whose magnitude..."

Jihoon continues to stare at his tutor and tries his best to pay attention to what he says so his focus doesn’t drift away. Much to the dismay of his attention, he keeps losing himself in Soonyoung's eyes.

"Are you still with me?"

Jihoon snaps out of a trance and nods his head. Then a thought crosses his mind, _is it science that makes a person so attractive? Intelligence?_ He sighs as he rests his chin on his arms. His tutor makes a quick joke and they both laugh, although Jihoon didn't really get what he meant. All he knows is that he wishes to understand the physics of Soonyoung's beauty, how his eyes form crescents, how the forces of motion go against gravity to pull up the corners of his mouth into a perfect smile. 

It’s all happening too fast. And so he denies to himself: **he doesn’t have feelings for this boy.**


	6. Chapter 6

The next day, Soonyoung comes home to, once again, Jihoon sleeping on his bed. He doesn’t really mind it though, he thinks that Jihoon might be too tired to climb all the way up to his own bed. The older tiptoes around the room and does his usual routine when he gets home from school. 

The moment he turns to look outside the window, he sees the tulips perfectly arranged in a pretty vase. The flower vase is made of glass, with little details carved onto it. A myriad of vibrant colors dance on the wooden desk as sunlight passes through the window, bringing richness to each brightly colored tulip it covers with its warmth.

Soonyoung finds himself smiling at the thought that Jihoon bought the perfect vase for the tulips. Sure, the flowers were already breathtaking on their own when he received them, but Jihoon somehow found a way to make them look even prettier. He looks back at Jihoon, who seems to have been awake, watching him admire the flowers. And the moment their eyes meet, Jihoon covers his face with a pillow. Soonyoung thinks it’s cute.

A few days drag past and it was finally the end of the year. It has gotten colder, and Jihoon's lessons have gotten a little too difficult for him to bear. He walks down the white road with Mingyu and Wonwoo, their hair filled with snowflakes and their cheeks frozen from the extremely low temperature.

"What do I tell my mom if I fail my physics class?" Jihoon kicks a pile of snow.

“Doesn’t Soonyoung teach you?” asks Mingyu

Soonyoung has been kind enough to make time to tutor Jihoon despite having a rough schedule, but at the same time, it's the reason why he gets out of focus. "I wanna stick to music courses, is that too much for my parents?" he lets out a whine

Wonwoo sighs, "You know, you can always combine music with your academics. Digest a few theories and connect it to life then make a little song out of it. Maybe that way, you could remember your lessons. Seems silly but it works.”

Jihoon isn’t sure, but it wouldn't really hurt to try, would it? By the time they pass by the familiar building, Jihoon decides to go home. He waves goodbye to his two friends and hurries to the dorm before the cold consumes his body. Inside his room, he sees a sleeping Soonyoung on the bed and he quietly closes the door behind him. 

But then his phone rings. 

"Way to go," he sarcastically mutters under his breath as he tries to answer the call. "Mingyu, what now?!"

"Hey you left your book in my bag, asshole. It's heavy, now i know why you don't grow up!”

Jihoon could only roll his eyes over the obnoxious laughter from Mingyu on the other line. "Fuck you, i grew one centimeter,” he replies.

"So are you gonna get this thing? Because if not I'd be more than glad to sell this. Good money, you know?”

"I just got here in the dorm, oh my god,” Jihoon says, “Give me a break!”

"Meet me at Carat Cafe later."

"Can you just bring it here because I don't want to suffer in the snow. I don't want to die in public, you piece of shit. That’s embarrassing!”

Mingyu simply chuckles, "What was that? Sorry can't hear ya! Show up at the coffee shop at 3pm sharp or goodbye to your book!"

"Don't fucking hang—" the call ends "...up." 

Out of frustration, Jihoon throws his phone on Soonyoung's bed, then realizes that the boy is asleep so he instantly prays for his soul. Soonyoung jolts up when the phone lands, then mumbles something too soft for the other to hear. There is a gush of words Jihoon wants to say at the moment, but he is too hesitant, it took about two minutes to form one sentence.

"H-hey Soonyoung, can you accompany me to a coffee shop? I hate to be a nuisance but I really can't die alone in the snow."

Soonyoung just looks at him for a few minutes, then giggles softly.

“Why are you laughing?”

" _Jihoonie_ , is this how you ask for a date?" Soonyoung asks.

Jihoon's cheeks flush, but he fights it. "N-no! You fucking idiot—I mean, no. Sorry about that." His roommate throws his head back as he laughs then agrees to go out with him.


	7. Chapter 7

Jihoon is covered with jackets twice as much compared to Soonyoung, but he still feels colder than him. What is this sorcery? He wonders, then notices his friend's hair covered in snow. Jihoon could only chuckle to himself because Soonyoung looks even more like a five year old.

Soonyoung turns. "What's the laugh for?" 

“For me, because my life is a sick joke.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Whatever, Soonyoung.”

Snow rests upon everything it could cover on the street, leaving it to look like a blank white canvas waiting to be painted. As Jihoon takes a moment to glance up at the sky, intricate patterns of snowflakes drift down and glitter in the faint sunlight, gently kissing his cheeks. The air is colder this time and he clearly regrets leaving his gloves in the dorm so he blows on his bare hands, his breath visible in the frosty air. 

He does it for a few more times until Soonyoung breaks the ice. “I can lend you my gloves,” he says, “I think you need them more than I do.”

“N-no,” Jihoon replies, “They’re fine when I hide them inside my jacket. I can live with that.”

Soonyoung shakes his head, a frown forming on his face. “Seungcheol said you can’t handle the cold. Let me lend you my gloves.”

“No.”

“Unfair. I’ll take them off as well, then.”

“No, if you do that, I will be mad at you, Soonyoung.”

The older could only sigh in defeat. They continue to walk with the now awkward atmosphere between them, until Soonyoung holds onto Jihoon’s left hand. Obviously, Jihoon’s first move is to flinch and let go, but Soonyoung’s grip is tight enough to keep holding on.

“Soonyoung, your hand.”

“You won't use my gloves so I’ll make you feel warm this way,” Soonyoung replies, enveloping Jihoon’s hand between his palms. The younger could feel the heat in his cheeks. He immediately looks away and tries to hide his blush while Soonyoung suppresses a smile, still holding onto him. He knows to himself that he likes to hold the boy’s hand. Without the gloves, it must feel soft and pampered, like the rest of Jihoon himself.

To Jihoon, it’s pretty unusual to hold hands with someone, especially in public, especially with a roommate he doesn’t have a romantic relationship with. God knows how much he wants to pull away from Soonyoung’s grip and keep his palms in the pockets of his jacket, but for some reason, a part of him doesn’t want to. Soonyoung then intertwines their fingers together and gives Jihoon a small squeeze as they walk. No words were said.

Fortunately, for the both of them, it wasn't long until they reached the coffee place, where they are welcomed by a warm atmosphere filled with coffee aroma. The Carat Cafe is very familiar to Jihoon. It brings a nostalgic feeling and makes him remember his freshman days when he would spend his time studying here, back when his professors didn’t give him a second to breathe. Not like things changed anyway. He just got used to the familiar cycle of sleep deprivation. Jihoon looks around, seeing Mingyu and Wonwoo seated at the far right corner with books covering their faces. He lets go of Soonyoung and makes his way towards the lanky pair, slamming his hands on the table as soon as he gets there. 

Mingyu's book falls down. "You came! I thought you were going to die alone!" He then notices Soonyoung making his way towards them. "Oh, I see why you survived now."

"Listen, I'm not here for your bullshit. Just give me my book."

"Okay okay,” mumbles Mingyu, pulling a face. “Sometimes I wonder why we're friends, you mutt."

Soonyoung laughs at the two. He also thinks it’s adorable that Jihoon has friends a thousand centimeters taller than him. He doesn’t really tease Jihoon for being the way he is, but his friends really do make him look extra fun sized. While all the ruckus between Mingyu and Jihoon is happening, Wonwoo steals a sharp glance from Soonyoung and clears his throat, "You must be Jihoon's roommate."

Soonyoung flashes a smile. "Yes, I’m Kwon Soonyoung."

"I think I've seen you around the campus before,” Wonwoo says, examining the boy in front of him. Then his eyes widen. “Oh! oh! You're one of those dudes who performed at the year end event in the auditorium! I watched that performance! Jihoon and I—"

"Okay Wonwoo! I think Soonyoung has heard enough!" Jihoon cuts the conversation off with a nervous laugh and covers the boy's mouth with his palm. "We will be going back to the dorm now. You guys stress me out just by existing.”

"No, stay for a bit, we would like to get to know Soonyoung more," Mingyu drags Soonyoung to sit next to him. Jihoon rolls his eyes but is left with no choice but to take a seat too. He flips the pages of his book to recall some of the lessons he was taught.

"I know we met before but I never introduced myself properly. I’m Jihoon’s classmate, Kim Mingyu, and this guy over here, Jeon Wonwoo, is a childhood friend of mine who became close to him too," Mingyu introduces. "You dance really well, by the way. I would love to see you have a collaboration with our Lee Jihoon soon."

Jihoon's ears perk up and he shoots a glare at the boy, Mingyu, who ends up laughing at him. On the other hand, Soonyoung feels lost. "Collaboration?" he asks.

"He's a musical genius. He writes songs and all."

 _Musical genius._ Jihoon hates the sound of that. He’s been writing and producing his own songs for the past few years and his friends know that very well. However, he doesn’t see himself as a _”genius”_. To him, music is nothing more than a hobby. He wouldn’t be stuck in an academic major if he’s meant to be a producer, as depressing as that sounds. 

"Jihoon, you never mentioned that to me!" Soonyoung beams at the smaller one whose face flushes in seconds. Mingyu and Wonwoo exchange stares.

"Is it my obligation to let you know? You never asked me about it," Jihoon simply says, then slams his book shut "Let's just go, Soonyoung, it's so much warmer back at the dorm." The boy marches outside and Soonyoung follows shortly after saying goodbye and exchanging numbers with Mingyu and Wonwoo.


	8. Chapter 8

“Hoonie, you’re so fast I couldn’t keep up!” Soonyoung whines.

“You’re just a slow walker. And don’t call me Hoonie,” replies Jihoon, taking off his shoes and the layers of coat he’s been wearing for the past hour. Soonyoung just watches him with a pout on his face. He’s clearly tired from a few minutes earlier, on the way home, when he was desperately trying to keep up with Jihoon’s pace. Who knew he could walk extremely fast with shorter legs compared to Soonyoung?

Jihoon changes into his cozy clothes and casually throws himself on Soonyoung’s bed, scrolling through his phone. Soonyoung, on the other hand, decides to take a warm shower first before doing the rest of his schoolwork for the day with Jihoon. 

While Soonyoung is busy doing his thing, Jihoon thought it would be best to walk around and clean up. He rolls off the bed to pile up all used clothes to take to the laundry later, arrange the study desk and refill the flower vase with fresh water. After a while, he goes back to Soonyoung’s bed to lay down and watch anime on his phone. The moment Soonyoung walks out of the bathroom with his soaking wet hair, Jihoon instantly notices something.

“Why are you wearing my shirt?” he asks. Soonyoung stops drying up his hair with a towel to look back.

“Oh, this is yours?”

Clearly. Jihoon points at the shirt he has on which happens to have the exact same print as the one Soonyoung is wearing, except his shirt is white and Jihoon’s is black. “I forgot to bring one inside and I saw it hanging in there. Let me just borrow it for now, it’s not like I have some shirts left to wear at home anyway. I need to have them washed,” Soonyoung replies as he walks to his bed to sit next to Jihoon. “Hey, you cleaned the room. Cute!”

Jihoon furrows his brows. “What’s so cute in that?”

“I don’t know, it’s just cute. And you put the clothes altogether for laundry. My stuff is in here?” asks the older, looking through the pile of clothes in the basket. Jihoon just nods as an answer, then adds that he’ll be taking them downstairs later. Soonyoung insists on going with him but Jihoon just tells him to stay. He doesn’t want both of them to show up at the laundry shop with matching shirts. Though, he secretly thinks Soonyoung looks cute in his clothing. _Whatever, Jihoon_.

Soonyoung rests his head on the headboard while Jihoon lays down still next to him. He pulls the duvet up to his chest and surprisingly, Jihoon slides under it, shuffling a little closer to him. “You watch that too?” Soonyoung questions, looking at Jihoon’s phone. The latter answers a yes, sitting up and resting on the headboard as well so he could be the same as Soonyoung. “I haven’t seen that new episode, can we watch it together?” Soonyoung asks again, to which Jihoon simply nods. He then holds his phone up between them so his roommate could see the screen. 

It’s quiet for a little while and Soonyoung isn’t sure if Jihoon had already fallen asleep. The boy’s cheek is softly pressed against his left shoulder and the arm holding the phone up is starting to lose its balance. “Jihoonie,” mumbles Soonyoung against his roommate’s hair. No response. 

After a while when Soonyoung feels the weight of Jihoon’s head on his shoulder, he mumbles once more. “Jihoonie.” Jihoon’s arm completely loses its balance and lands on Soonyoung’s torso. _This is gonna be awkward for a while_ , Soonyoung thinks to himself. As he taps on the phone to pause the video they were watching, his hand brushes against Jihoon’s. He recalls, a few hours ago when they were out in the snow, he didn’t get to hold onto the boy with his bare hands because of the gloves. But he was right about them: they feel perfectly soft and smooth, and his small hand perfectly fits in his.

Jihoon buries his face in Soonyoung’s neck, just when Soonyoung finally gets the courage to slide an arm around the smaller’s waist. To his surprise, Jihoon doesn’t seem to mind. He’s a sucker for warmth, he even snuggles closer until Soonyoung’s body is pressed against his own. They stay in a comfortable position for a little while, soaking up each other’s warmth under the soft fleece blanket. Soonyoung’s fingers gently brush Jihoon’s soft, blonde hair. A familiar fresh fruity scent with a subtle hint of flowers fills his senses, then he realizes something — Jihoon is using his shampoo. He doesn’t mind though, the boy can use it all he wants. He gently leans onto Jihoon and hugs him tighter, his eyelids feeling heavier with every passing second. This little touch of heaven seems to make the whole room warmer somehow, as if the snow had already melted away. 

After what felt like hours, Soonyoung wakes up alone. He looks around, seeing the door gently open. Jihoon comes in with an empty laundry basket and places it down next to the shoe rack. “Please don’t leave again.” mumbles Soonyoung, soft enough for the other to hear. “I had to go downstairs, sorry.” Jihoon replies, though he doesn’t really know why he’s apologizing. It’s not like he’s required to stay in an embarrassing position next to his roommate until they decide get out of bed. They both know that bringing it up would make things awkward, so they decide to pretend it didn’t happen.

Later that evening, the two boys are back to their study session. Speed, friction, momentum, acceleration, velocity are getting all mixed up and about in Jihoon's brain, he could almost hear the gears grinding inside to make everything work. 

_Why do I even need to know the speed of things?_ Jihoon asks himself. When the only speed he knows is the one at which Soonyoung sends his heart in momentum, slamming out of his chest. The friction of Soonyoung's touch colliding with his in a positive acceleration therefore having greater velocity.

Jihoon lets go of his pen and his hand rests on his chest. He breathes in and out, realizing that there is no way to escape the feeling building up inside of him. Soonyoung had already entangled himself with his heart in a way, an atom for an atom until all laws wear off.

"Soonyoung," he calls. The boy looks with his lips pursed. “Hm?”

**"I think I like you."**


	9. Chapter 9

**"I think I like you."**

"Pardon?" Soonyoung doesn’t hear. The boy is too focused on his lessons to even pay attention to the rest of the world. He removes his left earbud and repeats his question, then Jihoon snaps back to reality and hits his forehead with his palms, his cheeks going red. "N-nothing, go back to studying."

"Okay then. If you need help, tell me, okay?"

"Yes, thank you."

Jihoon sighs and hopes that Soonyoung really didn't hear what he said, even just a word. It’s something too weird to say out of nowhere, especially during study time. He doesn't want the boy to think that he's getting off his rocker for that would draw a distance.

 _7 o’clock_ , Soonyoung catches the time. He doesn't have classes because it's the 31st of December but he's supposed to be at a friend's house. His phone rings and damn right, it's from Lee Chan: _“Hyung are you going to be here for the new year? Junhui and Minghao hyung are here now!”_ The boy averts his gaze to Jihoon who has been studying and writing little songs out of his science notes for the past two hours. He can't just leave him here. It’s lonely.

He apologizes to Chan, saying that he couldn’t get there and that he’ll make it up to them next time. He texts, hits send then turns to his roommate. "Jihoon, it's seven. What do you want for dinner?" 

"We got ramen."

“Just ramen?”

Jihoon scowls at him. “Do you hear yourself? At least we have something. There’s children that are starving, Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung throws his head back, laughing. "Oh come on, I didn’t mean it like that. It's new year's eve! We have to make it special, don't you think?" He says. "We have to study—" Jihoon gets cut off trail when Soonyoung takes his hand and pulls him, dragging him to the dresser. Soonyoung takes a few clothes and gives it to Jihoon, who isn’t really sure what to do with it. “Wear these and let’s go out, okay?” Soonyoung says with a smile.

After a few minutes, Jihoon is all dressed up in Soonyoung's clothes, making him look like a different person, almost a little more stylish. The colors on his sweater perfectly suit his blonde hair. Soonyoung then exits the bathroom with contacts on, making Jihoon's heart jump a little. He always looks jaw dropping.

"Do I look okay?" 

_Geez, when will he stop asking me that?_ Jihoon muses. "You look great, Soonyoung." "That makes you stunning then." Soonyoung says and casually walks up to him, fixing his slightly messed up hair. Jihoon has his eyes closed as his roommate does the job. “Are you done yet?” He asks, eyes still closed. “Something’s missing,” Soonyoung mutters, tapping his chin with his finger while eyeing Jihoon from head to toe. The younger hears Soonyoung pull the drawer once more and seconds later, he feels something on the top of his head. “Voilà!” Soonyoung exclaims, turning Jihoon to his left to face the mirror. The latter opens his eyes and sees himself with a beret, something that he didn’t expect to look good on him and tie the outfit altogether. He’s impressed, it seems that Soonyoung really knows how to put pieces together. 

"Where are we ever going?" Jihoon asks. Soonyoung takes both of his hands again and holds tightly onto them. He could tell that Jihoon is tense with the way his soft hands feel stiff and shaky. Soonyoung’s thumbs graze over the back of the boy’s palms, calming him down. "There's this place that I really want to check out with you. Is that okay, Jihoon?" He gives him a squeeze.

Jihoon avoids his gaze. "Y-yeah, I'm okay with it."


	10. Chapter 10

Jihoon finds himself with Soonyoung at the Sinchon bus terminal, about to hop in on bus number 3000. The boy holds onto the older’s hand as they walk to their seats, where he chooses to be near the window. Soonyoung squeezes himself next to him. "Are you comfortable?"

Jihoon nods. He doesn't mind the tight space because it keeps him warm. Fifteen minutes later, the bus started to make its way to Ganghwado, where Soonyoung wishes to go for the new year. _This is going to take forever,_ Jihoon muses. It’s evening and he's tired from all the studying and stressing out over finals. He should be resting right now but Soonyoung just had to drag him into this. As the bus moves, it shakes with every bump on the white road. Jihoon coughs, looking up at the small air conditioning pumps and trying to reach and adjust them. He shuffles in his seat, catching Soonyoung’s attention, who then fixes the pumps for him. A small _“thanks”_ is heard from Jihoon.

Half an hour into the trip, sleepiness starts kicking into Soonyoung. He yawns, wraps his arms around his backpack and falls asleep shortly while Jihoon just watches. He asks himself why no matter how hard he tries to ignore and repel, he keeps coming back to Soonyoung like he's the only celestial being on space around which revolves his own universe; why he keeps looking as if Soonyoung is the sun — blinding, painful and hypnotizing. But he still refuses to stare away 

Then he shakes his head, _no, Jihoon. It can't be._

A buttoned up atmosphere dominates the remaining space between the two as Jihoon chooses to stay tight lipped. He averts his eyes to the scenery on the other side of the window until the bus trundles down to a stop. Everyone lurched forward when the driver stepped on the brakes, and Jihoon was quick to place his hand near his friend’s head to prevent it from hitting the seat in front. 

The engine sighs, and so does Jihoon. "Soonyoung, wake up. We're here."

Ganghwado is a half north-west of Seoul, and everything there seems new to the two boys. Jihoon's eyes roam around the scenery while Soonyoung unfolds his map. The cold kicks in again into the younger one so he presses his palms together to light a fire. Then he flinches when the back of Soonyoung's hand accidentally brushes against his. 

There it is, the only friction he will ever need: Soonyoung's touch. Skin to skin, setting Jihoon's heart on a soft fire.

They both settle down in a restaurant first to eat. The air is filled with the aroma of a variety of food. People are everywhere—groups of friends, tourists, families and lovers altogether, chattering as they dig into their plates. The boys choose a spot not too far from the entrance, a table with a blooming red tulip placed at the center. “Jihoon, what does a red tulip mean?” Soonyoung asks as they both take a seat. 

“True love,” the boy answers.

“That’s romantic, it’s like we’re having a first date, don’t you think?” Soonyoung says. Jihoon just makes a disgusted face. 

As they wait for their meals, Jihoon asks. "Have you ever been in love?" Soonyoung's eyes stop roaming around the place and land on the boy in front of him. "I've been in love with performing. But with a person?" he asks, "Hm, maybe a crush but I wouldn't count that as being in love. I think?" Jihoon nods slowly. "You know, I read something on the internet before. And because you're such a math whiz, do you happen to know an equation to solve that could tell whether you're..." The other raises a brow, wondering why his friend trails off all of a sudden. 

"Wait, are you in love?" Soonyoung chuckles

“No!” Jihoon almost chokes on his drink. "I'm just curious, asshole.”

"You know," Soonyoung points at him, "You don't need an equation to know if you're in love. If you’re ready to make a parallel universe for one person, a dimension where there'd only be the two of you, then that's love for sure." 

Once their food is served, Jihoon takes a bite from his meal and gulps it down. "You say that you've never been in love and yet you know all that shit." The other just laughs at his response. The two of them then fall silent until they finish their food. Jihoon dives in deep thought—sending him to different waves of ideas, collision of possibilities. That is, until Soonyoung finishes up and breaks the ice.

"Let's go see chamseongdan altar!” the boy cheers and points at his map "It says here that it's at the peak of Manisan."

Jihoon looks around and spots a white stairway leading to a tall and rocky place atop a snow-capped mountain. Honestly, he's not up for the idea of walking too much to reach the peak of a mountain because it's much, much colder up there. But who knows? Maybe this is the only time he gets to be with Soonyoung at a place like this. He subconsciously frowns and the other bats an eye. “Are you sad?" "No." Jihoon shakes his head and traps his freezing hands inside his sleeves "Let's finish up and go to the mountain, if that’s what you want."

When two boys start to make their way to the altar, Jihoon expresses his fear of heights. Soonyoung is worried for a moment, but takes Jihoon’s freezing hand and assures him that it won’t be that bad. Jihoon doesn’t seem to mind the hand holding anymore. He got used to it, almost as if it’s a perfectly normal thing to hold someone’s hand without sharing a romantic relationship. As they go step by step, Soonyoung cracks jokes that Jihoon finds lame (he still laughs at them though) He then feels his heart jump when Soonyoung looks up and a snowflake lands on the tip of his nose, causing him to chuckle. _He’s so beautiful,_ Jihoon mutters to himself. Soonyoung does deserve to hold a special place in the universe. Of all dimensions that it holds, Jihoon would want to love him at the tenth; the complexity at which everything that is possible and imaginable exists. The dimension where they could be together. Although, wherever they both exist, he will love him just as much anyway.

But does Soonyoung feel the same? 

Just when they're a step closer to the peak, Jihoon clutches his chest and closes his eyes. It has gotten colder. His company notices and panics in a blink of an eye. "Jihoon, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," the boy replies, "I think I just need to sit down for a bit."

Soonyoung assists him to the nearest small bench under the tall frosted tree and lets him rest there. "You need another jacket?" he asks, but gets a no. They are now at the top of the mountain, hair covered in white, cheeks red and feet cold from the snow. Jihoon takes a deep breath as he hugs himself warm. **_Does Soonyoung feel the same?_** The thought crosses his mind once more. Who knows? maybe it will stay unanswered, not for a reason that there is no definite answer. But because maybe Soonyoung won't be staying in his life long enough to satisfy his question. _Does it all even make sense?_ He sighs, his breath visible in the air.

"It’s half past 10pm," Soonyoung mutters, placing his bag on his lap. "Is it okay for you to stay with me until sunrise?"

Jihoon's mouth pulls up in a small smile. “I won't mind." Soonyoung beams at him, fishes a bag of chips from his backpack and tears it open with his teeth. "We’re gonna be waiting for more hours before the fireworks show up so you need to eat."

"Soonyoung, we just ate."

"So? You're not allowed to eat anymore?"

Jihoon rolls his eyes and grabs the bag to take a few chips before throwing them into his mouth as Soonyoung quietly eyes him and smiles to himself. They stay quiet for a couple of minutes, admiring the striking landscape before their eyes. Soonyoung watches as Jihoon’s eyes stare off the distance, wandering along the tracks of the small hills and bare trees. At the moment, they find themselves floating in between the sky and the ground. 

Soonyoung smiles and mumbles, "You know, I wish for this moment to last. The earth to stop revolving at the time, the years to stop, the time to freeze. Just so the moment could stay."


	11. Chapter 11

"You know, I wish for this moment to last. The earth to stop revolving at the time, the years to stop, the time to freeze. just so the moment could stay."

Jihoon cranes his neck to Soonyoung's direction and asks himself if he heard everything right, that Soonyoung wants the moment to last—this moment with him. But then he shakes the thought off, reminding himself to not keep his hopes up. Jihoon takes a glance again and sees the boy with his eyes closed, basking in the cold blanket of the mountain as he shivers and pulls his jacket together. 

Right above them is a deep silver moon, shining as bright as the ring on Jihoon’s last finger. Moonlight pours and splashes down the scenery, illuminating every corner with its heavenly glow and lessening the darkness of the evening. The moon showers Soonyoung in its pale, glittering light, highlighting his soft features and giving him a gentle glow. Jihoon could only stare in awe.

"Look at the moon." Soonyoung points at the sky and heaves a sigh. "You know, I used to love someone who loves the sky a lot. He was my sun, he gave me light. Gave me more than what I thought I deserved. I thought we would last but it turns out that I was the only one who loves him truly. I am not the center of his universe."

Jihoon feels a thorn in his heart. _Liar._ “So you did fall in love before,” he whispers, too softly, Soonyoung doesn’t hear it.

"May I know his name?"

Soonyoung bitterly chuckles. "Lee Seokmin. He’s sweet, but is also a jerk. I don't know, we were the perfect mix of chaos—thunderstorms and hurricanes tearing everything apart for the better and worse." Jihoon falls silent and gives Soonyoung a small smile. He starts to think that maybe they're just not for each other. What can he do? The sun is Seokmin, whatever his name is. And maybe if Jihoon is indeed Soonyoung's satellite, it won't be enough, _because the earth will always revolve around the sun._

"You still want to get back together with him?" Jihoon asks.

Soonyoung shakes his head. "I don't know. Seokmin—he's just so bright and his smile is really really beautiful." The boy tries to hide his smile but fails to do so, while Jihoon keeps his tears from falling. It’s his first time to fall hard for someone and after a few days here he is now, barely hanging on.

“I loved Seokmin. I really did. Maybe I still do, but I don't know, I don’t think so. I deserve better.”

This is why Jihoon never wanted to fall in love. he wishes that he could have chased the thoughts of Soonyoung away. But the boy is just too irresistible, something about him is making Jihoon fall harder. Before they met, he was a lonely atom waiting for a collision. But then Soonyoung came crashing, and he knew that it was the start of the universe.

Jihoon almost chokes up on his tears. "Well, is there still a chance for you to get together again?"

Soonyoung looks at him, then chuckles softly. "Hey, Seokmin has a boyfriend now. I'm all over it."

"A-are you looking for someone new then?"

"Hm?" The boy purses his lips. "Not necessarily, love will come eventually. I'm just going to wait for the right time...Well, it’s been a few years though and I think I like someone. I think." Both of the boys fall silent for a good two minutes. Soonyoung likes someone, _someone else._ Jihoon is only fidgeting with his thumbs, wanting to say something but slowly getting swallowed in hesitation. He might end up crying if he says a word. On the other hand, Soonyoung wonders, "What about you, Jihoon? What is the meaning of love for you?"

Silence.

“Earth to Jihoon, hello?” Soonyoung waves his hand in front of the boy. _He’s still so annoying,_ Jihoon sighs. 

"Love is bullshit."

"Huh? Don't be like that!" Soonyoung's eyes turn into crescents as he wraps an arm around Jihoon's shoulder. Jihoon swears that something in the way Soonyoung smiles makes him want to fall harder, hug him or give him a kiss, as embarrassing as that sounds. There is something so comforting about being with him, almost as if it makes him feel like home. 

Jihoon admits to himself what he knew all along: **Soonyoung is his home,** and as exaggerated as it may seem, he would give up everything to be with him.

Silence covers the atmosphere. Soonyoung’s eyes remain on Jihoon and the latter can’t seem to understand how all this silence is possible with his heart beating out of his system. He wants to look away, but it’s impossible to. Even if Soonyoung was the sun, Jihoon wouldn’t mind losing his sight as long as he gets to stare. It’s over, Jihoon muses. He had already fallen a little too much.

But does Soonyoung feel the same? _He doesn’t._ He likes someone else.

Jihoon turns away. “Why are we even talking about love? That doesn’t seem so right. It’s new year's eve, shouldn't we be talking about things that we would like to change?"

Soonyoung finds himself staring back as soon as Jihoon steals a glance once more.

"Ah, well, there's something that I'd like to change." Soonyoung smiles and looks down on the ground, "Maybe your relationship status?"

Jihoon's heart starts to thump so hard, he swears it could be heard. He thinks, _did i hear everything right?_ Then lowers his head so Soonyoung wouldn't see his face flushing red with heat. The older one laughs and tells him, "You’re so adorable, Jihoonie."

"Stop, i’m not. Say that to the one you like.”

“But I just did.”

Jihoon purses his lips as his cheeks heat up a little more. He doesn’t know if Soonyoung is telling the truth or if he’s just playing with him. Maybe it’s the latter—it has to be. The older seems to know what’s on his mind. “I’m not joking around, Jihoon. I like you.”

At this moment, Jihoon is mentally panicking, almost as if he’s going to faint soon. The one he likes is after his own heart after all. He wants to tell Soonyoung he feels the same way but he can’t even look him in the eye, he’s just staring at the ground like it’s suddenly all interesting.

“You know, you really look familiar, like i've met you before. Not sure but maybe you're my boyfriend in my past life,” Soonyoung tells him.

"That’s impossible."

“Well, it’s a surprise how we have the exact same ring then,” Soonyoung adds, showing the ring on his finger. Jihoon looks. It’s definitely the same, shining brighter than all of saturn's rings combined, beautifully crafted in silver like icy remnants of the moon. 

“My parents gave this to me before. Where did you get yours?” the older asks

“I don’t know, I had it when I was born.”

“Interesting.”

_Fuck,_ Jihoon curses in his mind. A second ago, they were talking about Seokmin and now Soonyoung is telling him they could be soulmates. Soulmates are brought together at the right time, when both are ready to fill each other’s gaps. But here comes Jihoon; unprepared and currently freaking out. To have a soulmate is to accept each other’s flaws, enjoy each other’s company and help each other become a better person. _This can’t be right_ , Jihoon muses. Soonyoung does help him become better but he thinks he does nothing for the boy in return. He feels sorry, when he shouldn’t be. Because to Soonyoung, Jihoon doesn’t have to do anything to make him want to be a better person. Just one look, one smile, and Soonyoung swears he’ll make every good thing possible.

The thing about soulmates is that the universe makes everything happen with its own pace. It might be too slow, too fast or just right (In this case though, Jihoon is sure it all happened pretty quickly) Not that he’s complaining, but why is the universe is doing all of these to him? Why Soonyoung? Jihoon himself must have saved the entire world in his past to deserve someone so beautiful in this lifetime.


	12. Chapter 12

Soonyoung continues to stare at Jihoon, his eyes looking at him with great admiration. To him, Seokmin was too bright, too much to describe, to handle and love, and he thinks that Jihoon has something that makes him different. Something about him is so beautiful, not even finest poet could write about it. Not even the best astronaut or scientist could explore. Although he shines brightly like Seokmin, he isn't too blinding, he is just like the rays of the sun that filters through the white blinds in his room at dawn, simply striking, simply beautiful.

"Your giant friends told me that you watched my performance and that the flowers were from you, Jihoon."

Jihoon mutters “Jesus Christ.” He’s very tempted to head over to Mingyu’s dorm and set him on fire for new year. Soonyoung mentioned “giant friends” though he believes Wonwoo wouldn’t do such thing, but then he pulls a face when he remembers the time when Wonwoo almost told Soonyoung they watched his performance.

Looks like he’s about to bury two bodies this coming January.

“And remember the time you slept with me?” Soonyoung asks

“W-what the fuck?” Jihoon stutters. Soonyoung stops for a moment, trying to decipher the boy’s response and the expression painted on his face. He breaks into laughter when he gets it. “I didn’t mean it like that! I mean, when we had matching shirts and you cuddled with me. Then we—“

“I know, Soonyoung, I remember.” Jihoon replies. “It’s not like we did something else.”

“I mean—who knows?”

“No. Fuck you.”

“Wow you’re so cute.” Soonyoung beams at him.

"Oh god." Jihoon mumbles, cupping his own face and drowning in distress. "Soonyoung, look. I—"

"You?" 

"I—"

Before Jihoon could say the words he’s been wanting to say, fireworks start to aim for the sky, exploding in a variety of colors. Jihoon lets out a small sigh, confused about whether he should be thankful or sad that he didn't get to say what he feels about the boy. The older one jumps up and down like a five year old while pointing at the sky. "Jihoon, look, they look like rockets!" He takes Jihoon’s freezing hand while jumping in excitement, telling him to do the same. Normally, the younger would say no to any kind of _”stupidity”_ (as he likes to put it) because he doesn’t show the softer, more childlike side of his. However, in this case, Soonyoung is just too cute, Jihoon can’t resist him. They skip around as fireworks splash colors on earth’s ceiling. At some point, Jihoon’s beret falls and Soonyoung stops to pick it up and place it back on the boy’s head, then they start jumping up and down again. 

Jihoon thinks it’s embarrassing and his cheeks are hurting from how wide he’s smiling, but _who cares?_ What matters is that he’s happy to be with Soonyoung at this moment. 

Soonyoung shouts _'happy new year’_ with so much enthusiasm while Jihoon does it with little to no energy at all. He’s exhausted from all the jumping.

After a little while, Soonyoung notices that Jihoon isn't even looking at the fireworks display, but at him. He lets out a sigh. "Are you okay? should we go home?"

"No."

"But it seems like you're not enjoying at all. You look tired, i’m sorry if this is draining you.”

"It's not that, Soonyoung." Jihoon looks at him. "It's just that the fireworks look so much better when reflected on your eyes."

A sweet smile spreads across Soonyoung’s face upon hearing an unexpected reply. He places his palm on the back of Jihoon’s head, with the younger closing his eyes to feel Soonyoung’s lips gently press against his eyelid. He hears him whisper as he draws back and smiles, “I love you, Jihoon. Happy new year.”

“I love you too, Soonyoung.”


	13. Chapter 13

Soonyoung couldn’t be happier, and the same goes for his lover. He scoots closer to him, holding his hand. The old Jihoon would want to brush it off, but not anymore. He likes the idea of having his hand held by the first person he fell in love with.

"Hey." Soonyoung flashes a smile. "I just realized, we got nothing to do until sunrise."

Jihoon replies,"Maybe we should just head back home?" 

"But Jihoon, I want to stay and see the first sunrise of this year!"

"Well okay, but what do we do then?" 

Soonyoung leans back, tapping his chin for a good one minute until a light bulb finally pops out his head. Hurriedly, he fishes his phone out to play some music then he stands up while Jihoon only sits there, watching him with a confused expression on his face. "Come on, Jihoon, let's dance!" The younger bursts into a fit of giggles, shaking his head no. "Soonyoung, sit down, people are looking at you!" He exclaims, but the boy doesn’t mind. He continues to dance to the song, skipping around Jihoon and moving his arms around, doing random moves. 

Soonyoung takes both of Jihoon’s hands to pull him up but the younger stays on his seat, whining out a _”no”_. When Soonyoung doesn’t stop, Jihoon shoots a glare and tries to look annoyed, but a subtle smile plays on his lips and it gives Soonyoung the idea that the boy is just playing hard to get. He pleads, “Come on, Hoonie. Don't mind these people, let's have our own little world tonight—just us two.” _Okay, cheesy._ Jihoon rolls his eyes and finally lets the older pull him up to dance, with their hands locked together. 

To dance on the snow and under the moonlight is something that Jihoon never expected to do. Something tells him that both of them could do this over and over and the feeling would never be the same. Soonyoung spins him around, and they start to go in circles, laughing until the dizziness kicks in. Everything in Jihoon's vision starts to go in circular motion, and later on he finds himself on Soonyoung's chest.

"You smell nice," he mumbles, burying his face on the soft fabric of Soonyoung's sweater. "Like baby powder mixed with candied almonds and vanilla." Soonyoung wraps his arms around the boy and whispers against his soft hair. “That makes me think that you'd like to stay like this for a little longer." Jihoon nods as an answer and entangles his arms around the boy as well, closing his eyes. It’s funny how all of this wouldn’t have happened if Soonyoung never became his roommate, if they never studied together, if they never existed in the same universe. Jihoon realizes how meaningless his life would be without his chatterbox roommate, the one he’s so head over heels for.

A song with a soft tune plays on the phone and the older boy starts to sing to it as they both sway slowly. Jihoon closes his eyes to listen to Soonyoung's voice. Suddenly, his mood falls into melancholy. "Soonyoung," he mutters, looking up to the boy. “This isn't going to happen again, is it?"

Soonyoung stops to hum and stares at Jihoon, holding him closer. "What are you talking about?" The boy falls silent for a few seconds before answering, "I'm saying that you don't really like me, and that this isn't going to happen again, right?"

"Wait, Jihoon, no." Soonyoung lets out a nervous chuckle. "Am I not sincere enough?"

"What?"

Soonyoung pulls away from the hug and holds both of Jihoon's hands tightly, their fingers intertwined. He looks at the boy in front of him with so much admiration. “Jihoon, I like you. And I know it's not ideal for friends to like each other but maybe, you're an exception. Maybe, you're meant to be _more_ than my friend." 

"Soonyoung." Jihoon tries to slip his hands off of Soonyoung's. "You don't, right?"

The latter holds on tighter. "But what if i really do?"

"No, that's impossible," Jihoon laughs bitterly, "You like Seokmin. You still love him, don't you? I’m not worthy, I can never end up with someone. This is impossible.”

"Jihoon, listen to me," Soonyoung cups the boy's face, gently moving his thumbs across his cheeks. "I thought that there were things that are impossible too, until I realized, if you're here, then _nothing_ is.”

Jihoon looks him in the eye. Soonyoung is right, he might just be overwhelmed. He starts to cry, and it's not because of anything negative, but because at some point, he thought he was so close to losing the first boy he ever loved. In fact, his tears aren't the broken pieces of himself that he refuses to pick up from the ground—they're tears coming from mixed feelings of relief and happiness, knowing that Soonyoung feels the same all along. And he means it. "I'm sorry, are you okay?" Soonyoung asks, but even if he doesn’t get an answer, he knows that everything is fine when Jihoon pulls him into a tight hug again.

"I love you so much."

“I love you too, Jihoonie. To the moon and _never_ back. I don’t see why there’s a reason to be back on earth when I could love you on the moon forever, where each day lasts for a month.” 

He plants a kiss on the top of Jihoon’s head, then notices that the song is still going on so he smiles and continues to sing. _"Friends should sleep in other beds, and friends shouldn't kiss me like you do, and I know that there's a limit to everything, but my friends won't love me like you."_

A few minutes later, they are back on the small bench, sitting next to each other. Jihoon steals glances from time to time, wondering if he should say a word. But every time he tries to, he just ends up tight lipped. The same thing goes for Soonyoung. It seems as if they're just waiting for each other to break the ice.

"Hey," they both say at the same time, then crack up into an awkward laughter. "Okay, Jihoon, you go first," Soonyoung tells the boy

"No, you go first."

"No, you go."

"Oh god, okay, okay," Jihoon nods with a smile spreading across his face. "About earlier, Soonyoung. Does it mean that we're...a thing...now?”

"Well," Soonyoung tilts his head to the right. “Will you be my boyfriend, Jihoon?” He asks, holding the boy’s hand tightly. 

“Yes.” The younger answers without skipping a beat. A smile forms on his lips, showing the dimple that Soonyoung absolutely adores.

Soonyoung brings Jihoon’s hand to his lips, giving it a kiss. "Lovely,” He says. “I don't think I can spend this year knowing that you aren't mine."


	14. Chapter 14

Jihoon wakes up at dawn, with the crown of his head on the crook of Soonyoung's neck and his sweet scent slowly filling his senses. It’s almost six in the morning and he barely remembers falling asleep to the songs playing on Soonyoung's phone. On the other hand, Soonyoung is wide awake. He has been holding Jihoon in his arms for quite a long time now, making sure that he doesn't get cold. And while the boy was asleep, he spent the hours singing softly to him as he brushed his hair with his fingers.

Here comes the blooming sun on the horizon, filling the sky with blended hues of soft purple, rose pink and baby blue. The morning stars are faintly visible on earth’s ceiling and the clouds are bathed in a rosy glow. It’s the first sunrise of the year and the sunlight hasn’t kissed Jihoon’s skin this way before. It’s a different kind of warmth, almost as gentle as Soonyoung’s touch. Jihoon continues to admire the breathtaking scenery as he snuggles close to his boyfriend.

Soonyoung flashes a smile as soon as Jihoon looks at him. "Good morning, love."

“It’s only what? A few hours of us being together and you're already calling me that. So cheesy,” Jihoon says with a chuckle, his eyes closing as he buries his face more onto Soonyoung’s chest. 

"But you fell for me in just a few days, Jihoon. Have you forgotten? You're so head over heels for me."

Instead of agreeing, Jihoon pushes him away and gives a snarky reply. "You know what? Shut the fuck up. If I only knew that you're this too full of yourself, I would've rejected you earlier." _Typical Jihoon,_ Soonyoung thinks to himself. This reaction doesn’t faze him, he’s used to it.

"It’s okay, I fell faster." Soonyoung mutters as he plays with Jihoon's ear. "If gravity is 9.8m/s², I must have been .294km in the +z direction because it only took 60 seconds for me to fall into you." 

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Nerd.” 

" _Your_ nerd," Soonyoung moves closer to Jihoon. The latter places his palm against Soonyoung’s face and pushes him away. 

"You’re disgusting." 

"Who says things like that while blushing?" Soonyoung teases, then snuggles closer to the boy to kiss the tip of his nose. Jihoon’s cheeks turn into a shade of red. "I really like you, Jihoon."

That moment, more sunlight fills the sky, seeping through the clouds. Jihoon draws a deep breath and traces lines on Soonyoung’s arm with his finger, torn between drifting to sleep and staying awake to take in more of this beautiful scenery. “Soonyoung,” Jihoon calls as a cold breeze folds over his body. 

“Hm?”

“I’m so happy that I met you, but I’m scared too. This feeling is so strange and overwhelming. They say that falling in love is just the easy part and I could see that. But how do we know if we’re really for each other? How do we know if we’re going to last?” 

Soonyoung reaches for Jihoon’s hand, his thumb caressing the back of his palm. “There’s no reason to know, love. The universe will do its thing and you should just trust it. What matters is that I love you, and whatever happens, whether this heart beats in a different lifetime, in a different place— _it is yours and yours only._ ”


	15. Chapter 15

Weeks continue to go by. Luckily for Jihoon, Soonyoung is always there to watch over him so he doesn't go overboard with studying. Sometimes, Soonyoung would make coffee for him, and remind him to take a break and go to sleep early. Although they're already together, they don't necessarily sleep in one bed, except at times when Jihoon feels too tired to climb up the ladder to sleep. Honestly, he prefers to sleep beside his boyfriend for it's much much warmer in his arms. 

Jihoon also feels more alive compared to before. Sometimes Wonwoo and Mingyu would tease him a lot and he would attempt to cut their heads off or smack them down, but thanks to Soonyoung, he can finally control his emotions (at least a little bit more) Every good thing seems possible now and the lanky pair are extremely thankful for it. On the other hand, Soonyoung, although laid back with his studies, gets exhausted quite often. He has dance practices in the morning, classes in the evening and then a study session with his boyfriend after that.

"Soonyoung, I can't do this, I really can't!" Jihoon whines "My brain has too much to remember, it's going to explode, i’m going to die!" Soonyoung just laughs it off and veers his focus back to his game, "You can do that, I believe in you." 

It has been two hours of Soonyoung playing ps4 with his friend, Minghao, while listening to Jihoon complain about the practice worksheet that he has to finish. "But Soonyoung! Finals is on Thursday! What the fuck do I do if I fail this subject?"

"Hold on! You can do it!" Soonyoung cheers, then stands up to angrily throw the controller on the couch. "Fuck you, Minghao!"

"Why do you never win?" His friend bursts into laughter. "Weak shit."

"I said fuck you, Minghao."

Jihoon observes Soonyoung and Minghao from his desk and groans out loud, messing up his already disheveled hair. _I should be the one spending time with Soonyoung now, but this worksheet just had to go ruin my evening,_ he mutters to himself. Minghao nudges the other boy to give him the message that Jihoon is stressing out a lot from studying feverishly and needs to be paid attention to. 

In fact, Jihoon _does_ need Soonyoung’s attention. The boy feels ignored for the past two hours and his face is going red in frustration. It wouldn’t be a surprise if he throws a tantrum in a few minutes. "Jihoonie, take a break,” Soonyoung says. "Come here, love.” The small boy violently throws his pencil at the books before angrily marching his way to the two boys. He sits in between Soonyoung's thighs and leans on his chest. 

Both Soonyoung and Minghao are surprised, but the older laughs it off and talks about how adorable his boyfriend is. He enjoys playing with Jihoon’s hair for a little bit and kissing the top of his head, calling him nicknames and squishing his cheeks. However, Jihoon’s expression doesn’t change. His arms are still crossed and his eyebrows remain furrowed. 

Soonyoung knows Jihoon enough to know that he’s clearly distressed. Stress easily spreads through his mind like spilled coffee on paper and it’s quite difficult to calm him down. He massages Jihoon’s palms while telling him that he doesn’t have to pressure himself.

“Soonie, I’m going to fail this subject.” Hearing the younger whine softly definitely makes Soonyoung feel some type of way. He pouts as he gives Jihoon’s hands a squeeze and he whispers, “You’ll be okay, I love you.”

Minghao then shakes his head and continues to play with his controller. “When will I get a love life?"

"Oh, I know someone who likes you a lot," Soonyoung giggles

"Who?"

"Who else?" 

"Yikes, let's not talk about him, please. I don’t want to hear it" Minghao tries his best to suppress a smile and Soonyoung continues to tease him, pinching his arm. “Ouch! Fuck you,” Minghao curses and throws a punch on his friend’s arm. The two of them proceed to play a couple more games while Jihoon watches in silence and eats potato chips. Sometimes he would throw some into Soonyoung's mouth as well. 

Twenty minutes dragged past and Minghao had to say goodbye. Once the two are left alone, Jihoon is glad he finally has his boyfriend to himself. They decide to spend a little time playing multiplayer games, with Soonyoung mostly losing to Jihoon. The older could really see his boyfriend pouring his stress over the game with the way he holds the controller, pushes the buttons and moves the joystick around. “Easy, babe,” he says as they play.

“Take that!” Jihoon stands up and shouts as soon as they finish. For the fourth time, he wins over his boyfriend in a one-on-one match. That’s just how it is, Soonyoung _never_ wins. 

“Alright baby, fun time is over. Time to study, take that,” Soonyoung says, causing Jihoon’s smile to turn upside down. “No fair,” his boyfriend whines out. “Hey, i’m kidding, come here.” Soonyoung pulls Jihoon to sit on his lap, facing him while his arms wrap around the boy’s waist.

“Don’t stress out, okay? You’ll be fine. I just know it.” He places a kiss on Jihoon’s forehead, then attempts to plant one on his lips, but Jihoon purses his own and moves away. 

“I don't want my first kiss to happen while I’m worrying over finals.”

“Guess we’ll have to wait until it passes by, then.”

“I guess we do.”


	16. Chapter 16

"Jihoon, Jihoon!" 

Mingyu hears and turns around, seeing Soonyoung in what seems to be his pajamas, running down the hallway a few minutes before the bell rings. He taps his friend’s shoulder before pointing at the boy. “Ji, I guess your boyfriend forgot to greet you a good morning today."

Jihoon furrows his brows, then his mouth drops open when he turns to see Soonyoung. "Oh my god why is he dressed like that?” he mumbles. As soon as his boyfriend catches up, he asks him why he’s in a rush. "You forgot your lunch and your vitamins!" Soonyoung hands him a small packed bag. "I ran all the way from our dorm and i’m really tired right now but it's okay! I also wanted to tell you good luck on your finals today! I know you will do great!” 

Soonyoung is so sweet, it’s unbelievable. Jihoon's mouth pulls up into a smile then he hugs his boyfriend tightly, "I love you forever Soonie, you're the best!"

"Also," Soonyoung pants, "I already have reserved tickets for the three of you later at the new year's talent showcase. I’m not sure which seats because I was in a hurry. I don’t think there’s a seat plan at all anyway so whatever. Be sure to come after your exams, alright?"

"Sure, bud," Wonwoo nods, "Good luck on your dance performance. Is it a competition?"

“Not just a dance performance,” Soonyoung chuckles, “We sing too. And yes, it is a competition, but not a formal one, if that makes sense.” Mingyu presses his palms on his forehead. “Good god, Jihoon, your boyfriend sings and dances and aces all his subjects,” He says “That’s a whole package right there.”

“And he’s hot too, isn't he?” Jihoon asks, causing Soonyoung to let out a shy laugh. “Okay boys, enough talking about me. Good luck to the three of you, alright? Do well!” He cheers and runs away, but then makes a turn to come back. He forgot to kiss his boyfriend.

"Ah, Jihoonie! One last thing!" He adds, "Remember everything we learned last night, okay?" Jihoon replies with yes, and Soonyoung plants a kiss on his forehead before running off for the second time. Jihoon watches his lover reach the end of the hall, where he turns around and gives a flying kiss before turning right, even bumping into another student. Jihoon shakes his head, laughing. Soonyoung is so embarrassing, and he loves it. 

To ruin the moment, Mingyu teases, “I wonder what happened last night. I’m intrigued.”

Jihoon’s cheeks flush at the thought and he hits Mingyu’s arm. “We just studied, shithead.”

“Studied what? Anatomy?”

“Will you shut the fuck up?” Jihoon grouches, already blushing madly. “I don’t want to deal with your dirty mind right now.”

Wonwoo chuckles, "Ah, I can't believe our Jihoon grew up so fast."

"Dude, he doesn't grow."

"One more, Mingyu, I will fucking kill you."

The cold air in the classroom welcomes Jihoon as he enters. He badly wants to leave right away so he turns to exit but Mingyu blocks the way and pushes him back inside. A string of curses leave Jihoon’s mouth because he doesn’t have a choice but to stay in his chair and wait for the exam to start. His body feels cold and he feels the knots tighten inside his stomach as he sings a few theories in his head. Looking to his right, he notices that Mingyu is taking his sweet time to take a nap. Unbelievable.

A few minutes after the professor arrived, the exam materials are distributed and they are given three and a half hours to finish the exam. The boy starts to sweat at the first five minutes of taking the test, his leg bouncing up and down in anxiousness. Everything he sees on the paper doesn't really look familiar and it's giving him the idea that he's definitely going to fuck his grades up.

 _What the fuck is bow shock?_ he asks himself and closes his eyes, hoping to find an answer. But all he could think of is Soonyoung.

Just Soonyoung.

"Not now, baby, please," Jihoon mutters to himself, then remembers the small notes, the short poems and song parts he did that are all related to his lessons, all of the little things he wrote while he was next to Soonyoung, facing the same old desk with a variety of colored tulips set on the center. Slowly, he recalls his own words and understanding of the concepts combined with the melodies he made — exactly how Wonwoo advised him to study. This went on for the rest of the period, with him being heavily inspired and mentally active at the same time.

Mingyu finishes after two and a half hours, ten minutes earlier than Jihoon so he makes his way to exit the room. Jihoon stays in his seat for a little more, solving problems and rechecking a few of his answers. Once he’s finished, he stands up to pass his paper and crosses his fingers to hope for the best.

"Wow, look who's happy," Mingyu nudges Wonwoo once they see Jihoon exit the classroom with a smile on his face, "How did you do?"

"I fucked some equations up, but I'm good!" Jihoon cheers. "I think I did well.”

“That was the worst three hours of my life. It felt like a decade and I was young before I entered that room,” Mingyu says, feeling his face. While the three of them are discussing their answers to the exam, the New Years Event at the university auditorium is already about to start.

"He’ll be here, don't worry," Junhui tells Soonyoung. The boy has been freaking out for ten minutes straight because the show will be starting in a few seconds and Jihoon still hasn't arrived to the venue. "Dude, I'm telling you, chill," Junhui continues to make them boy calm down, but nothing seems to be working. Soonyoung keeps looking for his boyfriend in the audience but he couldn't spot him.

"Hey, we'll be the third to perform," Chan arrives, fixing his top and microphone, "Is Soonyoung hyung alright?"

"Ah, he's just wondering where Jihoon is right now," Junhui answers

"You mean the boy who sent you flowers before? Cute. He’ll be there to watch, don't worry Soonie hyung,” Chan says

By the time they are about to perform, Soonyoung still couldn't contain himself. His members give him a pat on the shoulder before the lights dim and they walk to the stage. As he gets into his initial position, his eyes wander around, looking for Jihoon until he suddenly bumps into Minghao and curses to himself. _Embarrassing. Maybe Jihoon isn't coming tonight,_ he sighs, then their song starts. Soonyoung still gives his everything in the performance, though he feels like he's lacking. Through the whole song, his eyes couldn't stop searching for that person he wishes to see. 

As usual, the four boys receive a massive round of applause at the end of their performance. Soonyoung walks to the backstage with a frown on his face. "He didn't come," he tells Junhui, who immediately gives him a hug

"Maybe Jihoon is just tired."

"Yeah, maybe he just forgot," Soonyoung mutters. "I understand. not a huge deal."


	17. Chapter 17

Soonyoung watched the sea of crowds break down into individual puddles. Everyone has been telling him that he did a great job but he just shrugs it off, although all of those are actually deeply appreciated. It’s just that he's not in the mood to be cheerful and it’s clear in his facial expression. 

Minghao, Junhui and Chan decided that Soonyoung should take the trophy home because he’s the leader of their little group. They have their own gold medals anyway. They won first place in the competition and Soonyoung is thankful for it, thankful for his members for doing their best as a team. It’s their first award for the year and he’s just sad that he doesn’t get to share his pure excitement with the one he loves — all because he’s not there with him. His absence can really be felt and it’s impossible to ignore.

Soonyoung looks at his phone for the twentieth time in five minutes.

"He’s not even texting me, and we're supposed to meet here after the show," Soonyoung tells himself and runs his fingers through his hair. The boy waits for a few more minutes, letting his eyes roam all over the place, until it gets late and his own members have to leave. Soonyoung simply smiles at them, then frowns once they have their backs turned. _What if Jihoon is already asleep?_ Come to think of it, the boy wasn’t in the crowd and it’s taking too long for him to arrive at the backstage. Not a great sign. 

Soonyoung is done, he isn’t about to wait another second. "Ah, well, shit happens," he says out loud. While fixing his things, he feels two arms wrap around his waist. 

"Looking for me?" Jihoon adorably says. Soonyoung just turns to look at him and continues to do his thing as he chooses to pay little to no attention to the boy. "Are you mad? Look, I have tulips for you. All red this time.” Jihoon waves the bouquet of flowers in front of his face. Soonyoung simply carries his bag and walks past him. 

"Who wouldn't be mad?" He asks, no heat in his voice, no emotion. That’s when Jihoon knows his boyfriend is mad because it’s different. Unlike most people he knows, Soonyoung isn’t the type to be direct and raise his voice. When Soonyoung is mad, one can see it through his actions, but no matter what happens, Jihoon doesn’t seem to get to urge to smack him down.

"I suppose that you didn't see me in the crowd, huh?" 

Soonyoung stops in his tracks and faces him. Jihoon swears his stare is so cold, it could freeze the entire Pacific in less than five seconds. "Yeah, and I’m disappointed, Jihoon but it's okay, not a huge deal." _So passive-aggressive,_ Jihoon muses. He flicks the boy's forehead. "I’ll have you know, that’s a fucking insult to me. Actually, _I_ should be the one who's mad."

Soonyoung lets out a sarcastic snicker, "So it’s my fault? Great."

"I was at the front row, idiot." Jihoon tells him, scowling. "You looked stupid trying to look for me throughout the whole performance! But yeah, alright, we get it, i’m small, I get it!" 

Soonyoung’s eyes soften as he stares at him, his lips parted in surprise. He couldn't believe what he just heard and he feels stupid for even starting a little drama scene in the backstage. His mouth opens and closes repeatedly, not knowing what to say. "Are you kidding me?" "I’m not!" Jihoon replies, "I was waiting for that _'intense eye contact'_ that you said you were gonna give me, but i got nothing, Kwon!"

”Oh my god.” Soonyoung presses his palm on his forehead and pulls Jihoon into a tight hug. "I should have looked better! I'm sorry, Jihoonie, is there anything that I can do to make up for it? Maybe I could dance to the whole song again at the dorm for you only, hm?" He adds. 

Jihoon blushes and lets out an awkward chuckle as he pushes the bouquet against his boyfriend’s chest. "Uh, sounds wild, Soonyoung, no thank you."

"Then what should I do?"

"Nothing, it's all cool. You did a really great job and i’m very proud of you. Congratulations for winning, Soonie." Jihoon tiptoes to give the boy a kiss on the cheek and Soonyoung feels a loving warmth spread through his body. It was soft and it sent his mind a different kind of buzz. Then Jihoon pulls away silently, almost as if he’s shy for what he just did. _Cute._

Soonyoung takes off his gold medal to place it around Jihoon’s neck. “It’s yours,” He says. “I did all of that for you.”

“But Soonie,” Jihoon whines, looking at the shining metal as he carefully holds it with his two hands. “You deserve this more than I do.”

"Oh i’ll give you more of that,” says the taller. “Will you be the one to make music for our next performance?” 

Jihoon’s face lights up. “Of course.” 

“Great, then I can boast about dating the producer,” Soonyoung says with a laugh. 

He puts the flowers and the trophy down to take both of the boy's hands, "Hey, now that we're alone, I can finally do something I've always wanted to do." This is it. Jihoon closes his eyes and prepares for what's going to happen next, but then Soonyoung laughs at him. "Hoonie, why are you closing your eyes?"

"Why? What is it that you wanted to do?" 

"I wanted to show you my noodles dance moves!" Soonyoung cheers, which makes Jihoon hit his own forehead. "Were you expecting something else?"

"Honestly, yes," Jihoon mutters, looking at Soonyoung’s lips tainted strawberry. Soonyoung gets the idea, and leans in so his lips brush Jihoon’s, almost like a little tease. Then his hands drift to the smaller’s waist. The whole place is enveloped in quietude, with the cold infused air and the stars singing their ode to the moon. Knowing that Jihoon can no longer wait, Soonyoung finally kisses him, feeling every jolting current in his entirety, colliding with Jihoon like overlapping lines and connecting galaxies. 

Jihoon wraps his arms around Soonyoung’s neck as he tiptoes and kisses back softly. He loves that Soonyoung is taller, he gets to let his arms hang around his neck and bury his face on his chest when he pulls him into a hug. Jihoon pulls him closer until no space is left in between. Must this moment be so perfect? Two bodies, melting into one. Surely, he expected fireworks to happen, but what he got was so much better. Both of them knew what cosmic explosion tasted like.

They pull away to catch their breath and rest their foreheads against each other’s. Soonyoung then presses his lips against Jihoon’s for the second time, kissing him deeper and rougher than the first. Jihoon feels his cheeks heat up under Soonyoung’s touch. His entire body is taken over by the overwhelming feeling as the older deepens the kiss. 

Jihoon is the first to draw back, realizing that they’re still in school and they could always continue their _thing_ back in the dorm. Face flushed with heat, he then runs excitedly to the open ground. "I fucking kissed Kwon Soonyoung!" he excitedly yells like he just hit a milestone. Soonyoung picks his things up and follows the younger to hold him in his arms. "And you said you aren't crazy for me?"

"I _am_ crazy, because I love you, I really do!" Jihoon shouts and breaks into laughter. Soonyoung pinches his cheek and gives him another kiss. "I love you, Jihoon."

To most people, the sun is up there, in the galaxy; big and bright, yellow and burning, more than a thousand degrees hot. But to Jihoon, the sun is down here with him, smiling and laughing as if he doesn't know that his smile is the closest thing Jihoon could get to experiencing what heaven is like.

They say that true love can never be found in a store, but Soonyoung and Jihoon somehow found theirs in a little room crammed inside an old dormitory building. Like energy in the first law of thermodynamics, their love can never be created nor destroyed. It wasn’t made nor developed, it’s been there all along, in between the small pauses while studying together, the quick exchange of glances and the light brush against each other’s skin. Undoubtedly, it’s something that seems to only happen in dramas and love stories. But in just a few weeks, Jihoon learned how to love Soonyoung with the heat of a thousand blazing suns that will shine for a billion years more. 

"This is all too good to be true," Soonyoung says as he holds Jihoon tightly. He brings the boy’s hand to his lips, giving the ring on his finger a soft kiss. All this time, it still shines as bright as his own, and Soonyoung believes it’s not a coincidence for them to have the exact same ring. This could be something they had in a different lifetime, decades ago, in a different universe — it has to be. "Last night, I dreamt that this happened already. Wouldn't it be crazy if this really did happen before?” Soonyoung asks.

Jihoon shakes his head. "Soonyoung, here we go with your imagination again."

"I'm just saying that it would be so cool. And we need to say thank you to the universe. Thank you!" Soonyoung shouts to the sky "Come on, do it, Ji."

"Alright, thank you!" Jihoon shouts as well

"You know, Jihoonie," Soonyoung says, "There's this thing called tidal theory which explains that the sun was attracted to a passing star, causing planets to be torn out from it. Then it was the start of everything. I never believed that theory, but I guess you can say...that's exactly how our universe started." 

Jihoon nods and wraps his arms around the boy. "Let’s go home, Soonyoung."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and thats a wrap! thank you for making it to the end! 
> 
> this has a prequel (obviously, because of the ring thing) but i haven’t finished fixing that one yet. i have 10 soonhoon fics lined up and i’m not even a competent writer. we’ll get there folks.
> 
> thank you again!


End file.
